I WILL BE DEAD FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

Yes. I will be on holiday in South Africa staring at lions and other timorous beasties and will return around January 2nd, 1st, or 3rd.
So I probably won't have time to blog-- although I hope to have some limited Internet-- until I return.
KEXTREMELYSORRY
So, erm, see you once I return?
Yeah.
klol
klolbaiuntiltwoandahalfweeksfromnow

OH MY FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER

GUYS
I HIT 3,000 VIEWS
WHAT EVEN GUYS
OH MAN THANK YOU
*squee*
What a lovely way to start the day.
a point

The BBC is just one big conspiracy PART 2

I've been reading rage comics all morning, so I can't promise that the quality of this post will be any good.
I HATE waking up abysmally early to wash my hair. I HATE it.
Erm, and before I continue with a continuation of yesterday's post, I'd like to make a REALLY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Salamander and I started a band together. It's a trock band (Time Lord Rock). It's basically Doctor Who fan music. We're called Fish Fingers and Custard (he's Fish Fingers, I'm Custard). I've never been in a band before. I've always wanted to be in a band. And being in a fan-music band with Salamander=brb heaven k
*looks at more rage comics*
So, yesterday, I left off on the phone call, yes? Yes.
So... phone call. Yes. We talked about buckets of things-- mainly centered around Doctor Who, though-- and it was absolutely lovely. And then a wild Umbrella appeared and I had to get off the phone so I could hang with the kids that were actually there. Which is fine, you know, but I could have DAAAANCED ALL NIGGGGGHHHTTTT stayed talking to Salamander for ages more.
Anyway, that was fun, we gossiped about exciting things at HOGWARTS and at KoolBeenz High and then
A WILD UMBRELLA'S SISTER APPEARED
...with Auburn in tow.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have met the girlfriend of Salamander.
And... I wanted to die.
She's perfect. She's super, super pretty and I didn't talk to her much-- I was too busy cowering in fear and misery-- but she appears to be rather nice. She, too, calls Salamander by his last name. Seems like I'm the only person who calls him by his first name.
So, uh, yeah. Then those two left and I kind of had a bit of a breakdown. I was just standing rather dramatically under a combination of a streetlight and the moon and crying. A lot. AND NO ONE GOT WHY AND I DIDN'T TELL THEM although Umbrella knows how I feel, she totally should have known, yes?
Anyway. Yeah. I was... fine, though. Just kind of empty. Because looking at her and then also at Cashmere, I know that I am SO actually NOT his type. I'm nowhere near perfect enough.
Erm, then I had to go home and when I was just leaving, Sally texted me something and I texted him, "Well, I left, so see you next time. Next year."
AND THEN
ANDTHENANDTHENANDTHEN
Salamander said
(absolutely exact quote from text)
":'( I would hold more to talk with thee"
*dead*
YTHNGIVMFDBCGVIMHYBIKGH HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME
HE DOES HE DOES HE DOES
LIKE HE ENJOYS TALKING TO ME
AND HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME
Well *contented face* at least we're good friends. Good enough friends that we can talk.
So, uh, yeah. That was MY Saturday night.
Since then, I've been going to school, watching Doctor Who on Netflix Instant, reading rage comics for much longer than is healthy, and being in a band with Salamander.
*squee*
Oh, the BBC! I've just noticed that the BBC just re-uses its actors. So the only way you can get on a famous British show is by being on a famous British show. It's just a huge conspiracy-- you can't get in, you can't get out. Once you're in you NEVER LEAVE UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN ON EVERY SINGLE SHOW EVER.
A~yup.
KBYE
a point

The BBC is just one big conspiracy PART 1

It's ALL there, BLACK and white, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL. You STOLE fizzy lifting drinks, you BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be WASHED and STERILIZED, so you get NOTHING. You LOSE. Good DAY, sir!
Charlie?...
You LOSE!
Charlie?...
YOU'VE WON!
...
Yep.
So more on the BBC a bit later in the post-- I'll probably forget but then I'll just look at the title and remember. Ha. I win.
SO THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POST for all the kidz who enjoy hearing about my various exploits. If you're just here for the all caps, they're not hard to find.
SO
(I've got a blueberry for a daughter.)
Erm, well, last Saturday evening I went out with the kids. When I say "kids", I mean hypothetically speaking Salamander, Umbrella, me, and those other ones I don't mention very much but you should know who they are anyway (Pegasus, Ginger, and Appletree).
And when I say "hypothetically," I mean recently we've been having this problem where no one can come except Ginger, Pegasus, and me. I guess it has to do with the fact that Christmas is nearing and everyone's parents want to go out and have a lovely little booze party like mine *horrified face* and everyone has younger siblings EXCEPT ME.
So Saturday evening started rather badly because Appletree was answering no one and Umbrella had to babysit her cousin and Salamander's phone was broken so it was just Pegasus, Ginger, and me. Which is technically fine, I mean-- we have good times anyway.
But on the car ride there, I get like a billion all-caps texts from poor Sally (YES YES THAT IS SHORT FOR SALAMANDER OK IT'S JUST FASTER plus it's an embarrassing habit at this point *facepalm*) like "OH NOOOOOOO MY PHONE JUST TURNED BACK ON AND I CAN'T GO BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO BABYSIT I FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD COME!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I CAN'T AND I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and I'm just like "Oh, how convenient. Well, see you next year!"
*flounces off*
Basically, his parents went to a thing and he has a younger brother so he had to babysit. So around a million more all-caps hysterical texts from Sally, it became apparent that if his parents got home before 10 or so, he could come over to da park where we were hangin'. (Oh, and a note about that-- the original Dome is dead. Too many drunken hoodlums ALWAYS show up and it gets really dark and things so now we meet up at a merry-go-round not too far from there.)
BUT THE IMPORTANT PART IS
Around half an hour to an hour after our meeting commenced, Pegasus got a little bit of a phone call from Sally and he put him on speaker and we were all talking to him and it was quite nice, really.
D'you wanna know what I'm gonna talk about next?
A-YUP. YOU GUESSED IT. THERE'S GONNA BE LIKE AN HOUR LONG RANT-- you have no idea how long it takes me to type these things-- ABOUT THE PHONE CALL.
So basically it began with all of us just kind of flailing in circles around the phone and somehow it started slowly to kind of get more focused on me, like he WAS talking to the others but we were having like a proper conversation and just getting interrupted by the other kidz. He brought up my Spanish class-- which was this huge personal problem thing like two months ago that I think I only told him about and he was like the biggest comfort in the universe but it was like ages ago and I thought he forgot-- and I told him about how much more boring it is than my other class and how the other class now has a new interesting teacher and we flailed angrily together and aww, he does care about me somewhat, he remembered.
Erm, so then somehow-- I genuinely do not remember how-- the phone just got completely transferred to me and then I just sat on the steps of the playground-- yeah, there's a playground nearby-- and we talked on the phone for like half an hour. It was very natural and easy and stuff-- it was great. We talked about Doctor Who and insulted each other and other people and it was just so lovely.
SO
BECAUSE OF STUPID TIME CONSTRAINTS
I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger and only a few spoilers for tomorrow's episode of "The BBC is just one big conspiracy".
Spoilers:
AUBURN.
/spoilers
Make of that what you will, but you'll find out properly tomorrow morning.
SO YEAH
HAVE A NICE EXISTENCE UNTIL TOMORROW
a point

POEM

I was going through one of my GOD-AWFUL 7th grade blogs-- I'll blog about it later, maybe-- and I found a poem I wrote in 4th grade. Or 5th grade. I looked at it now, went "hmm!", and tossed it into Google Docs for some editing. I edited it up and changed some of the really cheesy bits and made it rhyme better in places and have decided to place it here for your enjoyment and/or horror.
The title
and also the poem:
"Our Flower" by Roonil Wazlib, age 10 or 11 (NOTE: IF YOU CAN COME UP WITH A BETTER TITLE PLEASE TELL ME BECAUSE I CAN'T COME UP WITH ONE BUT I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE)

Such a beautiful flower in such a terrible place,
Where a bountiful smile ne'er does grace a man's face.
Where all the creatures surrounding are just as forlorn
And the beggars on the doorstep are ragged and torn.
Such a glamorous flow'r, wasting its days
In a desolate wasteland, ne'er graced by the sun's rays.
Such a flow'r's our love, wild and untended.
My heart may be broken, not soon to be mended.
If you perchance saw the state that I'm in,
(And it’s worse than any I’ve ever been in)
Perhaps then you'd see what you have done to me
And of these sad visions you'd never be free.
These things I do tell you not to cause you pain
But to show you the longing that I hold in vain.
The one that you speak of so often, rejoice!
...For because of my tears I have lost my voice.
My love, you shan’t hear any more tender words--
You care for mine not, or so I have heard--
But when fleeting time has turned us all gray,
I hope you'll remember those sunshine-filled days
When we used to stroll through the world's boulevards,
With my hand in your hand and my heart in your heart...
I ask my forgiveness for making you hear
My remembrance of all of the things that I still hold dear
I swear I’ll be silent and now end my laments,
And, if you like, you can keep all our moments.

So, erm, there you have it.

The original was much, much worse-- I get that that's hard to believe-- and the rhyming was even worse and the cheesiness was absolutely over the top. I almost completely changed most of the last 10 lines or so, but still.

Maybe someday I'll post the original and LUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLL in horror at the adorableness of my younger self.

Probably not, though.

WHO TAKES THE PANDORICA TAKES THE UNIVERSE!!

(It's a clever continuation of my previous blog post's title; also, it matches my NEW!SHINY!background!)
Welp. *insert Doctor Who gif here*
(Like the one of Matt Smith saying "WHO DA MAN??!!" or of him doing the Pandorica monologue and throwing his arms out and challenging the spaceships.)
HAHAHA BUT I HAVE NO SKILLS WITH SUCH THINGS
LIKE IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS NEW BACKGROUND YOU HAVE NO IDEA
I actually have no idea what the purpose of this blog post is supposed to be, but I'm guessing it's a leetle techno update for myself/the universe (because the universe obviously reads my blog).
Erm, so I've changed the "about me" a little bit, I've changed the blurb thing at the top (I'm sure it has a proper name, but LOL WHATEVER), I've taken off some gadgets as they become obsolete (like my Twitter. I haven't tweeted for ages and I don't plan to, but I'm sure I'll put it back on once I go back to California next summer, ack), and I've obviously changed the background.
The background-- because you asked *snort*-- is from one of the more confusing episodes of Doctor Who, where LOTS OF THINGS HAPPEN AND I CAN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE SPOILERS and basically, at one point, all the stars explode. So yeah. Hence da pitcher.
So what's been up in my life?
I'm back in the land that is not California. The jelly babies have been eaten (except the last one because it looks like a Slitheen and I want to keep it forever) and have been a slight disappointment. They're a bit mealy and they are HUGE. So if the 8th Doctor offers you a jelly baby, first swoon (because, HELLO, THE DOCTOR) and then politely take it because HELLO, THE DOCTOR. HE HAS MAGICAL HYPNO POWERS IN HIS 8TH INCARNATION.
Haha. I fooled you. You thought I was going to say that you should decline but NO.
(No one cares, Roonil. Shut up.)
Erm, what else?
I have a MASSIVE amount of homework that I was planning to do yesterday, but
my stepdad
had a million BILLION people over
and the entire day was consumed with hectic last-minute shopping and
like
cooking
and stuff
and then the evening came
AND LIKE 20 PEOPLE SHOWED UP
AND WHAT EVEN
OUR HOUSE ISN'T THAT BIG
and then I hid upstairs and played Fashion Designer New York because I am a horrible little child antisocial with adults
but then I had to come down for dinner
and then I talked about rage comics and memes and Doctor Who with one of the guests which was nice
and then I hid upstairs again
OH YEAH and there was a baby
he was cute and cuddly
and his dad looked a LOT like Salamander
it was quite creepy actually
so I have found definitive proof that Sally is a time-traveler
because I am telling you this guy looked exactly like him but around 20 years or so older
and then
this morning
it turns out that one of da peeps got too drunk last night to drive home
(I went to bed at like 10 and they were still partying)
so he had to stay over
and there's a marathon this morning that's running right by our house
so
AWKWARDAWKWARDAWKWARDAWKWARD
LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA OMG
UPDATE (THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT)
So now we have been talking to this guest and I have pieced together a story about the party; apparently, after I went to bed, everyone got REALLY, REALLY drunk. Like, people were passing out and some guy threw up on the lawn out front and some guy started chatting up some other guy and not everyone can even remember most of it and
OH MY GOD STOP IT YOU ARE MY PARENTAL UNITS YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE CRAZY RAVE PARTIES
Like they were downing shots of vodka and chasing them with wine and WHAT EVEN
I'm glad I was hiding upstairs.
Erm, anyway.
*/stream of consciousness*
I texted Salamander a bit yesterday. On Friday, awl teh kidz were supposed to meet up, but it didn't work out, so as of today, I haven't seen Salamander for a MONTH. Which is distressing, because the last time I saw him he was DEAD (he was Brutus, who died). Well. I did see him after, but he had fake stubble on his face which made him look extremely good omg like a different person a little bit. But he was really happy to see me then, and now... he's just kind of apathetic towards me. I mean, I get that he has a stupid girlfriend, but I am his really good friend. You'd think he'd care a little bit more about me. So we're gonna try to get da kidz together next week, which would be splendid, because that's the last week before Christmas break for me.
Only a few more weeks until the Doctor Who Christmas Special!! :D :D :D :D Pretty excited, even though it seems to be some sort of Doctor Who/Narnia crossover that does not particularly want.
OH YEAH AND YESTERDAY *flails* I GOT THE NEWS THAT "if a Doctor Who movie were to be made, it could and would only be made by the BBC and would have continuity and would star television's current Doctor." CRISIS AVOIDED.
I think that's around it. I'll probably think of moar things to say much, much later but won't blog about them until, like, next week or whatever.
SO on the topic of how to close my blog posts, my stepmumther said that I should end my blog posts with a point, so here you go:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA