this is a note to myself
it's been like four almost five years since i posted anything on this blog, but out of some weird burst of nostalgia i decided to go on it again
it's easy to be harsh on my past self; i was clearly dealing with a lot of personal issues and i blew off steam by being boy-crazy and overemotional and overenthustiastic, and this comes off as really annoying nowadays. but it was the only way i could express myself and try to put myself out in the world.. i didn't know how else to find who i was and what's contained on this blog is a small portion of my trial and error process
im older now but im still not all grown up, so i dont want to sound like the foremost authority on my own life just yet. but i've found a little peace at least and i'm leaving this note for myself for the next time i want to take a trip down memory lane. think of this as a time capsule
hey, taz, youre doing alright
i'm in college now, it's my second year. i have friends and i have interests and i try to be more healthy about them than i used to be lmao. im also a lesbian. i was a lesbian when i was making all these blog posts and it would have saved me so much heartache and so many self-esteem issues and so much self-loathing if i'd known that a little earlier but alas and anyway here we are now. i have a girlfriend and i love her and she loves me and i'm a little better than i used to be. i sort of have my own self-worth that doesnt depend entirely on outside approval lol
i cringed reading a lot of these posts obviously because. yikes. but i remember how lonely i felt at the time and i want to say sorry to my younger self and i want to say that i wish i could have been gentler with her. i know that i haven't actually been through anything traumatic and my life has been comparatively very wonderful and easy but there's still this running theme of me being very unhappy with myself and it started when i was pretty young and im still dealing with it even if it's not like a "real" problem it's how i feel, and i want to tell the taz who wrote these posts that she ends up pretty okay in a couple years. get a short haircut you'll be fine
im laughing this will sound so melodramatic to whichever next version of me reads this post in 4 years or whenever..... YOU END UP OKAY...... BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF...... I WAS COMING FROM A PLACE OF PROFOUND LONELINESS....... get over yrself lmao but still tbh i just wanna say sorry to myself for hating myself so much, thats not quite gone but it ebbs and flows and i'll get there
oh! i ended up dating 'sally', in my sophomore year of high school. it lasted about two months and we never did anything beyond holding hands and going to some movies. i felt ill whenever he looked at me though because i, am a lesbian,
i got my first girlfriend in junior year and the rest is history... oh also i want to say sorry to all the women i was really really horrible to in these blog posts. i didnt know what i was doing and even though the patriarchy really got to my head, yall deserve better, and i hope youre all still being great and doing your own thing
anyway, enough of this melodramatic nonsense, i have psycholinguistics papers to read. see you in a few years hope youre still doing okay! be nice to nice
it's been like four almost five years since i posted anything on this blog, but out of some weird burst of nostalgia i decided to go on it again
it's easy to be harsh on my past self; i was clearly dealing with a lot of personal issues and i blew off steam by being boy-crazy and overemotional and overenthustiastic, and this comes off as really annoying nowadays. but it was the only way i could express myself and try to put myself out in the world.. i didn't know how else to find who i was and what's contained on this blog is a small portion of my trial and error process
im older now but im still not all grown up, so i dont want to sound like the foremost authority on my own life just yet. but i've found a little peace at least and i'm leaving this note for myself for the next time i want to take a trip down memory lane. think of this as a time capsule
hey, taz, youre doing alright
i'm in college now, it's my second year. i have friends and i have interests and i try to be more healthy about them than i used to be lmao. im also a lesbian. i was a lesbian when i was making all these blog posts and it would have saved me so much heartache and so many self-esteem issues and so much self-loathing if i'd known that a little earlier but alas and anyway here we are now. i have a girlfriend and i love her and she loves me and i'm a little better than i used to be. i sort of have my own self-worth that doesnt depend entirely on outside approval lol
i cringed reading a lot of these posts obviously because. yikes. but i remember how lonely i felt at the time and i want to say sorry to my younger self and i want to say that i wish i could have been gentler with her. i know that i haven't actually been through anything traumatic and my life has been comparatively very wonderful and easy but there's still this running theme of me being very unhappy with myself and it started when i was pretty young and im still dealing with it even if it's not like a "real" problem it's how i feel, and i want to tell the taz who wrote these posts that she ends up pretty okay in a couple years. get a short haircut you'll be fine
im laughing this will sound so melodramatic to whichever next version of me reads this post in 4 years or whenever..... YOU END UP OKAY...... BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF...... I WAS COMING FROM A PLACE OF PROFOUND LONELINESS....... get over yrself lmao but still tbh i just wanna say sorry to myself for hating myself so much, thats not quite gone but it ebbs and flows and i'll get there
oh! i ended up dating 'sally', in my sophomore year of high school. it lasted about two months and we never did anything beyond holding hands and going to some movies. i felt ill whenever he looked at me though because i, am a lesbian,
i got my first girlfriend in junior year and the rest is history... oh also i want to say sorry to all the women i was really really horrible to in these blog posts. i didnt know what i was doing and even though the patriarchy really got to my head, yall deserve better, and i hope youre all still being great and doing your own thing
anyway, enough of this melodramatic nonsense, i have psycholinguistics papers to read. see you in a few years hope youre still doing okay! be nice to nice
