JUST KILL ME PLEASE OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE

Yeah. I watched Reichenbach.
The emotional trauma I went through cannot be described.
(For those of you who are wondering, Reichenbach is "The Reichenbach Fall," S2E3 of Sherlock. Emotional trauma.
EMOTIONAL TRAUMA)
I don't think I've ever cried this hard over a fictional thing in my life. Mostly, when I cry at Doctor Who and books and other movies and plays and stuff it's silent crying. Me at the last twenty minutes of Reichenbach=FULL-OUT SOBBING AND IT WAS LOUD AND MESSY AND UGLY
Caps-lock and tears aside, it was one of the best pieces of television I've ever seen.
anyway
i somehow don't think that's why I was blogging
YOU KNOW WHAT
IT IS WHY I AM BLOGGING
at least partially
Oh, and I have an OTP to add to my list. A couple, actually.
I started watching Firefly (OMG <3) and am now about to watch episode 9. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT and I've been thinking about it, li3k, awl da tiem. For those of you who don't know, Firefly is a show from 2002 that was canceled after one season. It takes place in the 26th century (2517, to be exact) and is split between cool high-tech things and the Wild West. It's classified as a space western, but that makes it sound like Cowboys Vs. Aliens and blah. It's about the crew of the good ship Serenity and how they live in spaaaaaaaace. (ALSO OMG INSTEAD OF SWEARING THEY SWEAR IN CHINESE)
So I love it.
aaaaaanywaze
Back to my OTP list.
Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (BBC Sherlock)-- OMG DOES THIS NEED EXPLAINING
NO
NO IT DOESN'T NEED EXPLAINING
And then Simon/Kaylee from Firefly but I'm not going to explain that one because no one cares.
ilushgkumhgskjhymkiujm
Okay, now back to reality.
OMG GUISE PAINTDOKTAHWHO ACCEPTED ONE OF MY CREATIONS
Here's a link: http://paintdoktahwho.tumblr.com/post/16200366720/from-teh-gurl-who-weighted
Yeah. I made this. I also made two more (or three more lol i lost count) that they have yet to accept.
SO THIS MADE ME HAPPY
IT ALSO HAS LIKE 85 NOTES ALREADY
OMG GUISE 85 PEOPLE LIKE MY WORK ENOUGH TO REBLOG IT OR LIKE IT
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
And nothing is better about Sherlock, by the way. I'm done crying for now but IT STILL HURTS LIKE A PINEAPPLE.
ALSO
YESTERDAY WAS THE BIRTHDAY OF THE DARLING, DARLING RICHARD HENRY LEE
I had a party with my imaginary friends to celebrate his 280th. Yay.
Wasn't I going to return to reality?
Yep.
So this past weekend my father and my stepmumther kidnapped me and took me to hell took me on a lovely trip to Austin (I WAS JOKING OKAY I HAD A LOVELY TIME). Like, we ate at a pizza place called "HOME SLICE PIZZA." And nearby there was a restaurant with a sign that said "I LOVE HAPPY BACON."
I think I'm going to change the tagline on my blog to that.
I LOVE HAPPY BACON.
I GOT A SEWING MACHINE
GUISE GUISE ARE YOU LISTENING I GOT A SEWING MACHINE
UFGYBJUHFCKHBLGYGSKBIUGSJIKGHKUHJ
StepMumther and I made a hooded scarf. It's quite brilliant. I'm VERY excited.
Erm, we took a segway tour, which was excellent. I rather extremely want a segway.
AND THEN once I buy the Doctor's coat and a segway, I will ride the segway whilst wearing the coat and the coat will fan out behind me and the world will bow down.
ALSO
THIS IS THE CAR I WANT WHEN I GROW UP

IT IS A PICTURE OF LOVELINESS IS IT NOT
The door opens out to the front. I love this car with a passion.
(VELAM Isetta Microcar, in case anyone wants to buy it for me.)
So, the new semester started on Wednesday.
New classes, including an intro-to-tech-theatre class in which I will saw my arm off and end up with a nail through my brain.
Haven't heard from Sally in three or four days.
There's a new guy at school.
Sophomore.
Theatre.
Straight.
Whovian.
Brony.
Sherlockian.
Introduced me to Firefly.
Educated. Very educated.
Complimented my name.
Extremely attractive.
BUT
You know. You know how this works.
First of all, seeing as how he is male, straight, and attractive, every single girl in this school is flocking at him. The popular ones, mainly.
Second, he's ignoring me.
First day-- he's in my first period. Great. We befriend and chatter about cool nerdy things.
Second day-- he's in my other first period. Great. We chatter about more cool nerdy things.
Second half of second day-- ignores me. Completely.
Third day-- talks directly to me once in the hour and a half long class that we have together. Smiles at me in the hallway-- although he may not have been smiling at me, someone he knows was walking in front of me. If we're standing in the same group of friends, he looks at and talks to everyone BUT me.
jkhgkhjmskghjkjh
And just when I thought I could start getting over Salamander.
I won't be going to the Winter Ball.
Yeah. But you know that already. And, of course, New Boy From Indiana shows up-- Ellie and I have nicknamed him Chameleon, Chammy for short-- and I'm all like SQUEE YAY A VERY ATTRACTIVE VERY NICE NEW BOY WHO IS COOL AND NERDY AND OMG WE CAN BE FRIENDS AND WE CAN GO TO THE WINTER BALL TOGETHER and now he's absolutely ignoring me.
Welp.
I guess for now I'm going to go into a state of nun-hood. Kind of. Considering I'm an atheist, that may be hard, as mah frand Saarg Rice, a.k.a. Pangolin, pointed out.
By "state of nun-hood", I mean I will attempt to detach myself from all romantic feelings for as long as I need to before I feel better. That's what I mean. It'll be easy.
Anyway.
At school, we've started Shakespeare in English class but of course we're absolutely massacring his beautiful work by analyzing sonnets and having them read by people who can't read at all and misinterpreting words and gah why can't people show some RESPECT?
Angry. Sorry.
Also, my grandmother is moving out soon. We're starting moving her stuff to the assisted-living place today.
Hmm.
This has been an absolutely MONSTER post.
BUT WAIT
THERE'S MOAR
Buckets of thanks to dearest Pangolin/Saarg Rice who has been helping me out with the villianous males in my life. I hope she is very happy with her husband and their seventeen children ;D
There you go. I mentioned you.
She's also asked me to write her life story in my "trademark ZANY style" which I will attempt to do, I promise.
I've also had a nice idea for a book. I'm not going to tell you what it is because if it doesn't work out I'll re-read this post and make myself feel guilty and bad.
But I'll try to make it work out.
OKAY I REALLY DO THINK I'M DONE NOW--
Nope. Chuck Testa.
I added my Twitter gadget back to the sidebar and took off my fanfiction link. There you go.
OKAY THAT'S REALLY IT.
a point
thank you for reading this post, darlings

*lololol what a clever title has been inserted here oh look it is also a Doctor Who reference it is so clever and silly*

Sometimes I lie in bed when I can't sleep and I plan out my next blog post's title. They're all super great but I never remember them.
Anyway
That is NOT the point
(because the point goes at the end obviously pay attention)
The point is to update all y'all about my life, yo, yes?
Erm, yes.
SO
BEHOLD
Welp, I do believe I have mentioned to the lovely blog world that HOGWARTS will be having a
HANG ON
PANDORA BREAK
OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
IT IS PLAYING 500 MILES
PANDORA *KNOWS*
IT KNOWS EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
Erm, anyway.
-- will be having a Winter Ball of sorts soon. January 28th, to be precise. And a few months ago, Sally and Umbrella discussed how he was going to ask me to said ball.
But then a wild girlfriend suddenly appeared, used cuteness, and it was SUPER EFFECTIVE.
*headdesk*
So I asked Umbrella to text Sally and hint that he should ask me to the thang
and he said
he
can't
take
me
ALTHOUGH
he really wants to. Paraphrased quote: "I'd love to take her. It'd be so much fun because she's a really great girl and I really really wish I could but Auburn won't let me."
HDHSHFJSJJFHAHS
WELP
I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SKIN HER AND TURN HER INTO SHOES THEN A LA MORIARTY
Mummy warned me that this would happen, though. And I guess that although I be upset and angry at her and stuff, I definitely understand where she's coming from.
Like, if I were dating Sally and he asked some girl who is his friend to a ball thing
I
WOULD
FIND
HER
AND
TEAR
EACH
OF
HER
HAIRS
ON
HER
HEAD
OUT
ONE
BY
ONE
THEN
TAR HER
AND FEATHER HER
AND BURN HER BODY
haha no what are you talking about I never said those things
nope
that ain't me
So yeah.
I am, as a semi-result, not going to the Winter Ball because I wasn't planning to go unless he asked me, so...
HAHA GUYS I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE GOOD NEWS
Last weekend, I met up with ALL the kids. And when I say "all"...
Yeah. I saw Sally again for the first time in two months last Saturday.
(also I met up with Katherine and Pangolin on Sunday but that's a different story)
It was great. Really. GREAT. (although he did text Auburn quite a lot during said event)
We hugged a total of four times over the course of the evening.
Erm, first time, he was just getting out of the car and I was having an "OH NO OKAY RELAX" moment and everyone else was like "yay Salamander *hug*" and I was like "eep" but then we hugged and he was like "It's been how long?" and my brain voice was like
SHUT
DOWN
EVERYTHING
DO NOT
I REPEAT
DO NOT
SAY "two months one day one hour" LIKE YOU WANT TO
So I said "eh, two months?" and he said "two months? Three months?" and it was great because OMG HE NOTICED THAT WE HADN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN AAAAAAGES
Then he hugged me to thank me for his Christmas present and to make me feel better about something and to say bye.
Yaaaaaaay
It was a great evening and I'm glad it happened.
So meh dadd and stepmumther are flying in tomorrow and we're spending the four-day weekend together so that should be fun
but *unpopular opinion* means I can't see da kidz again for a week BUT IT'S SALLY'S BIRTHDAY IN TWO WEEKS FROM TOMORROW WHEE
So, I probably forgot a bunch of things-- like, it's finals week so I only had and have school until 1 this entire week and on Tuesday I didn't even have to go to school and today I had a half day-- but maybe I'll blog them later because this is already a monster post.
SO
BYE KIDS
DON'T BE LIKE ME
DON'T MOPE
K
a point

I promise I will make a real post tomorrow.

Until then...
This is a thing I stole from Katherine's blog. Enjoy.
-Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
"Falling' For You," "Eight Days A Week," "A Hard Day's Night," "If I Had You," "This Is Me," "Cry Me Out."
-If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Erm... David Tennant.
-Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
"Ingredients for a successful new business."
-What do you think about most?
Erm, Doctor Who and Salamander *facepalm*
-What does your latest text message from someone else say?
"WHY THANK YOU! I AGREE."
-What’s your strangest talent?
I can identify a song from hearing less than a second of its middle.
-Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)
Are confusing. Are confusing.
-Ever had a poem or song written about you?
ABSOLUTELY NOT although I write songs and/or poems about people sometimes.
-When is the last time you played the air guitar?
This morning.
-Do you have any strange phobias?
Frank the bunny from Donnie Darko. Having two shadows. Anuptiophobia. Little children asking for their mummy. Statues of angels.
-What’s your religion?
Atheist/Pastafarian.
-If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Begging to go back inside. Complaining.
-Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Neither.
-Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Was The Ready Set, the Beatles, and the Jonas Brothers, now probably Chameleon Circuit and Hot Chelle Rae and Glaze and Ladytron.
-What was the last lie you told?
"I'm not sad."
-Do you believe in karma?
I joke about it a lot, but probably not really...
-What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
My heart and my fast temper; my faith in humanity/the Doctor (LOLJK probably my ability to go along with things.)
-Who is your celebrity crush?
DAVID TENNANT and Devon Bostick.
-How do you vent your anger?
Cry.
-Do you have a collection of anything?
Quarters. Toy owls. Creepy baby dolls. Fingerless gloves. Stuffed animals. Harry Potter and Harry Potter-related books. Various fandom things. Whimsical pins.
-Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Chat online. I hate talking on the phone. Sorry.
-Are you happy with person you’ve become?
No.
-What’s a sound you love?
My phone buzzing when I get a text LOL I AM SUCH A MATERIALISTIC PIG
-What’s your biggest “what if”?
What if I became Internet famous?
-Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Ghosts, no. Aliens, yes, definitely (DOCTORRRRRR).
-Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
A pen; my iPod charger cable.
-Smell the air. What do you smell?
Air freshener and metal.
-What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
That Hike Down Table Mountain.
-Choose East Coast or West Coast?
BOTH BOTH BOTH OH GOD PLEASE BOTH
-Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
Jordan Witzigreuter?...
-To you, what is the meaning of life?
To cure humanity of its cruelty and to spread out amongst the stars.
-What’s the weather like right now?
Gloomy, damp, and cold.
What time is it?
7:17 AM.
-Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
I drove once. It scared me. But no, I'll be old enough to have a real license in two years.
-What was the last book you read?
Geektastic, probably. Or How To Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe.
-Do you like the smell of gasoline?
I apparently used to when I was a child and it got problematic. I don't now.
-Do you have any nicknames?
Roonil. Colonel. Envy. (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
-What was the last movie you saw?
The Russian version of the Wizard of Oz...
-What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
I sliced a couple inches of my calf open once when I fell on a rusty nail in 2nd grade. I still have a scar.
-Have you ever caught a butterfly?
I don't think so...
-Do you have any obsessions right now?
DOCTOR WHO and making paintdoktahwho and Tumblr and My Little Pony and Sherlock and Rodrick from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and MemeBase and rage comics.
-Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Yes. Lots.
-Do you believe in magic?
YES.
-Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Erm, depends on the misdeed.
-What is your astrological sign?
Libra.
-What’s the last thing you purchased?
Erm, a calendar for mah fraaand.
-Love or lust?
Love.
-In a relationship?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha... *goes off and cries in corner*
-How many relationships have you had?
Around negative zero divided by zero to the negative zero'th.
-Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Nope.
-Where were you yesterday?
Home. Tah Interwebs.
-Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Leftover South African money, my bathrobe, some catalog...
-What’s your favorite animal?
I love cats, I love every kind of cat, I just wanna hug all of them but I can't, can't hug every cat...
-What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
I don't have one. I just try not to be too creepy. Or I do try to be creepy, depending on the person.
-Where is your best friend?
Asleep, probably.
-What is your heritage?
Russian.
-What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Watching Doctor Who...
-Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
Yes. I think.
-What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by the Proclaimers.
-In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Love and the desire to always be close to the person you love. And common interests, obvesleh.
-How can I win your heart?
Let me always be right and like the things I like and don't lead me on.
-Can insanity bring on more creativity?
YEP.
-What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
Going to the school I'm going to now (HOGWARTS).
-What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
*uneasy smile* I don't know. I'll have to think about that.
-What is a saying you say a lot?
"WHOA, WACKY!"
-What’s the last song you listened to?
"Beyond Her Garden" by Glaze. <3
-Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?
Green, orange, black.
-What is your current desktop picture?
Home computer- it is familial- a South Africa trip picture. My iTouch- the TARDIS.
-If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
*shifts in chair* No one.
-What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
"Will you go to the Winter Ball with me?" not said by Sally.
-You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
The ability to meet and travel with the Doctor...
-One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Wake up.
-You can re-live any night of your life. Which night would it be?
The first time I ever went to a Dome of Secrets. Maybe.
-You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
California or New York. Or Europe.
-Do you have any relatives in jail?
Step-relatives.
-Surely if the whole world were listening you'd want to say something important. What would you tell everyone?
No more hate. Control your differences. We are all so alike underneath. Just leave each other alone or I'll just have to stop you.

WHEEEEEEE
I will try to blog properly tomorrow or later this week. Until then, my darlings!
a point

I WAS lying about the panthers.

Famous last words...
ANYWAY
IM KNOT DED ANYMOAR!!1!one
Yeah. My trip to South Africa was, like, 20 parts WHOA WACKY LET'S STAY GUISE and 80 parts EEWGROSE TAKE ME BACK TO THAT PLACE WHERE I LIVE
OH YEAH AND IT WAS SUMMER THERE
IT WAS DECEMBER AND IT WAS SUMMER
D: D: D: D: D: D: D:
ALSO THE MOON WAXED AND WANED ON OPPOSITE SIDES THERE AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PLZ HALP
HOWEVER
For Christmas, I got an iTouch (OMG SAURY I MEEN AN IPOD TOUCH). I then never left it. (I got TextFree, turning it into a phone w00t w00t me so clevah and also Sims 3, meaning I will nevar evar leev the haus again. ALSO I GOT THE MEMEBASE APP AND THE RAGE COMIC APP AND THAT IS A PROBLEM BECAUSE I NEVER GET OFF THOSE D:)
So, yeah. I guess.
Sally and I have been texting. Not much, but we have. HOWEVER when I mass-texted ALL the friends about how I was back, he was the first to respond :3 he was also the only person to text me over the break voluntarily.
I watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG) but not on Christmas. I couldn't. But I DID watch it in ma haus on teh Intarwebs. I found a website where you can watch ALL the Doctor Who for FREEEEEEE without signing up or anything. As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm very excited about this.
Erm, some things that I did in South Africa were
PLAYING WITH 4-MONTH-OLD LION CUBS (for like 5 dollars a person guys what is that)
PLAYING WITH 2-WEEK-OLD LION CUBS (for like 15 dollars seriously guys what even)
HAND-FEEDING AGGRESSIVE WILD ANTELOPE THINGS (for free!!1!one bro)
Etc. etc. etc.
Oh, and I hiked FIVE HUND-RED MAILES down Table Mountain which made my legs fall off and stuff, but...
ANYWAZE
KLOL
SORRY FOR BEING DEAD
I'M NOT ANYMOARZ
KLOL
a point